Did You Proofread This?

When was the least thyme you handed over a peace of righting without proofreading it?

Be very very careful!

Teacher-Poet, Taylor Mali says it with humour:

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Tech-NO-logy

Taking Two types of Tech-NO-logy to Task

If there is one piece of technology I turn my nose up at it’s the electronic translators that students sometimes pull out. I try to contain myself but I always end up trying to make them feel like it’s a waste of money and that they ought to trade it in for an old fashioned hard copy dictionary.

I’ve seen to many instances where those electronic wonders left students questioning whether I’ve in fact been speaking English for over four decades. This is not to say that by virtue of being a native speaker I know the meaning of every word in the English language. I have had to pull out the old fashioned dictionary and point out the true definition of a word on more than one occasion just to convince a student that their sleeker version was actually at fault.

My second pet peeve is Bill Gates’ spellchecker. It’s obvious that some students neglect to use it when they ought to. At the same time, it’s unfortunate that we cannot exactly tell them to rely on it 100%. Have you ever rushed to type a text and later been embarrassed by something that the spellchecker didn’t pick up. Well, let’s not blame Bill Gates. Let’s just say that the English language can be confusing, even to a computer (or a computer programmer). What do you feel like after reading the text below?

They're know miss steaks in this newsletter cause we
used special soft wear witch cheques you're spelling.
It is mower or lass a weigh to verify. How ever it
can knot correct arrows in punctuation ore usage: an
it will not fined words witch are miss used butt spelled
rite. Four example; a paragraph cud half mini flaws
but wood bee past by the spill checker. And it wont
catch the sent tense fragment which you. Their fore, the
massage is that proofreading is knot eliminated, it is
still berry much reek wired.

Now, don’t you feel sorry for the poor old spellchecker?

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I Got Mine in Kuala Lumpur. How About You?

It was suppose to be a two month stay. Get my CELTA, visit a friend, see a few sights then head back to Surabaya with a well needed update to my CV. That was the plan, but …

I ended up staying on for more than two years।



The Tefl certificate is accepted all over the world as a qualification for teaching the language to non-native English speakers. At the moment it is particularly in demand in South-East Asia.

In a future post I will share my experiences with CELTA and also the CELTA Young Learner extention. For now, have a look at one man’s pursuit of TEFL qualification in Calcutta.

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Imus Maledicta

I try to stay away from it at all costs,
except when I get provoked,
when I reach the peak of frustration.
Every now and then I’m afraid I let it go.
I’m afraid to say I used the B word this morning.
(yeah, pick your jaw up off the ground, just because I dress modestly doesn’t mean there isn’t a mere mortal underneath)

Even though they hear me ranting on and on about something day after day,even my kids were shocked.

can I offer a feeble excuse?….to make myself clear would have taken a whole sentence
the B word captured the exact meaning in one lone word
and I was at my wit’s end
in a hurry
so the B word it was
out there
making it’s point
loud and clear
Sorry…


• Verbal aggression
• Verbal abuse
• Swearwords
• Insults
• Terms of abuse
• Curses
• Damnations
• Blasphemy
• Scatology
• Taboo Language
• Exclamations
• Boasts and tall talk
• Euphemisms
• Terms of endearment
• Pet names
• Jargon of subcultures
• Libel and slander
• Nicknames
• Slurs
• Stereotypes

I came across a rather interesting text about how such language can be mistranslated.
Wow, what a mess.

Start with “Nappy Headed Ho” and get …
(gotta read the the May 7th engry entitled “How Not to Translate "Nappy-headed hos" to find the many possibilities)
Well, what’s YOUR first language?
...or the first language of your students?
How might they translate that phrase?

Check out that text for some really interesting MIStranslations.

Have you got any funny stories about mistranslations? Please post them!
Seen Dr. Goodword's Mistranslations?
Here are a few more (sorry if some are repeated).


FYI
There is a scholarly journal dedicated to the study of derogatory words and expressions. It focuses mainly on the origin, etymology, meaning, use, and influence of vulgar, obscene, aggressive, abusive, and blasphemous language. It has been published since 1977.

I’m curious to know, what YOU would name such a journal? Put your thinking cap on, but be creative. Please don’t email it to me. Post your answer as a comment.

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How to “Top Up”

I had a yummy feast at my former student’s home the other day. I taught him at BC and his wife and kids at home. We had rice, homemade bread (baked in their tandoori oven on the balcony) kebab, chicken, salad and some spicy pickled veggies. While I sipped my tea during the post feast chat, he said that understanding the English of Malaysians can be quite frustrating sometimes.

He heard them say
“cemetery”

They meant
“semester three”


He heard them say
“Me dirty and my husband dirty to.”

They meant


“I’m 30 and my husband’s 32.”

Apparently they have trouble understanding his Iraqi brand of English.

After running out of prepaid credit on his mobile phone, he approached the counter and requested – “credit card Digi” (Digi is the brand name of the telecommunications company)After much back and forth he found another Malaysian to translate for him.

Frustrated, he asked “what SHOULD I have asked for?”

The clerk answered, “digi 10”

Of course, this clerks spends day after day having people walk up to her asking for the same thing over and over; cards to reload credit on their mobiles. Who knows why she couldn’t figure out what he meant. Which word threw her off? Was it CREDIT? Was it CARD?... or was it DIGI?!!!!!!!!

Honestly, I think that sometimes people get so nervous at the sight of an expatriate that they prevent themselves from any possibility of communicating with that person. I’ve ordered at a restaurant in Bahasa Malaysia and gotten giggles and confusion, then had my Malaysian friend repeat the same thing in very much the same accent and be understood.
Part of communicating is allowing yourself to relax and simply listen with some degree of confidence. Without these two factors, you don’t stand a chance.

p.s. the name of this post is “How to TOP UP” . This is a term I learned the hard way, my second month here in Malaysia. I’ve been here so long that I can’t even remember how to say it in American English!

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MASTUROFINGLISH

According to this quiz

I am a MASTER of the English language!

Well, I scored in the top third, Thank you very much.

The quiz results state that…

my English is “not exactly perfect” but I am “more grammatically correct than just about every American.” Ouch! That’s not saying much!
Annually, Fortune 500 companies spend billions of dollars teaching basic English.
Our mistakes have become so common that we haven’t a clue we are making mistakes.

A certain Welsh prince complained that American English is ‘very corrupting.’ He said that Americans have a tendency to ‘invent all sorts of nouns and verbs and make words that shouldn’t be.’ The EFL/ESL industry is growing immensely and earns Britain over $750 million a year. It’s serious business.

But before you go placing all the blame on Americans, please note that we don’t have a monopoly on “bending” English. The British themselves are known to get out there on the dance floor themselves.


One thing I have learned since I started teaching English full time, is that “correct” is सोमेतिमेस a term that ‘s difficult to pin down. I never considered myself an expert on the English language and find teaching it to be a never-ending learning experience. I’m a facilitator. I help people to use English. I feel it’s my job to make them feel comfortable with taking it and making it their own. The point is COMMUNICATION. Can you express your opinion, order dinner, write your thesis, read a newspaper?

Hey native speaker there! Have you ever questioned YOUR ability to conjugate a verb?
Check out THE VERB MACHINE.

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Could you spell that please?

This afternoon I had one of those moments where a student says something totally unrecognizable.

All the other students heard it and laughed while I just stood there dazed and confused.

Have you ever had one of those moments when someone says something (a phrase or a single word) and you can't make out what they're saying no matter how many times they repeat it for you?

I was eliciting vocabulary used to describe places. We looked at various photos and the students had to discuss what they thought life might be like in those places. In response to a photograph taken in Heidelberg Germany this particular student (a Malaysian of Chinese descent) said "wahKA".

I must have asked her to repeat it four times without coming even the slightest bit closer to what she was saying. By this time I had blocked out all the other students and had absolutely no concern for embarrassing that student. I was on a mission. I HAD TO KNOW WHAT THE **** SHE WAS SAYING!!!

So, I said to her "could you spell what you are saying?"

She replied, "W-O-R-L-D C-U-P"

Boy did I feel the fool. Of course, Germany= World Cup! I mean what was I thinking???? Of course. I ask you "what do you think life is like in Heidelberg Germany?" Of course you should respond "World Cup".

I mean it doesn't matter if the world cup isn't always played there. You're a teenager and all you think of when you hear the word Germany is World Cup!

And, why should you bother giving me a clue by saying "they play the world cup there"? Just leave me standing in the middle of the room where everyone else can understand your accent. Just leave me out there on my own to figure it out with no context whatsoever!!!!!
Speak in complete sentences, PLEASE!!!

I should have known maybe. I'm teaching people who pronounce the word "food" the way the word "foot" is pronounced. Everything is clipped, shortened, cut off. They even do this with their own names. Everyone seems to use nicknames.

I should have known. Or maybe I am just moving on in my heart. I'm due to move to a new country now and maybe I'm just eager to be in tune with their accent now. Yes, that must be it.

Do forgive me, Class. I'm trying my best to hang in there.

But really, next time...some context would help. Otherwise, Spell it, PLEASE!

On a lighter note :-) I thought you might get a kick out of this Berlitz commercial

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